The Irresistible Television

Many parents bemoan the allure of that flashing, colorful baby-neglector, the TV. Not me; I appreciate having a babysitter who works for free. What really gets me is the tiny, grainy baby monitor. It’s high-drama, it’s deep emotions, it’s addictive, and it’s irresistible. Every morning, I wake before the baby, then watch the monitor closely for the tiniest movement, the littlest noise. Every night, after the baby’s down, I look to see if he’s cozy and start at the hint of a wail. I stare at it instead of the TV, the computer; I’ll pause the NFL, or the UFC, or a bad cop show — even Rizzoli & Isles! — for it.

Hear that? The baby monitor is so irresistible that it doesn’t even need a DVR. Somebody needs to regulate these things!